Digging..Digging... and more Digging...

I have someone in my team that really hates me. I am not sure if I'm harsh to him. But I made him cry once. But then, nobody in my team likes him either. So boy, I couldnt care less if you hate me. I am not offended at all when you throw that rude remark the other day. There are so many things that I can do to you if you get on my nerve. So try me!

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I have a fashion stylist. I dont really have to care about choosing clothes whenever I shop for them since I have someone to take care of that for me.

I am fickle minded, so I dont make decision easily. Usually I let other people do it for me.

I rarely decide what I should buy for my bf's birthday. I'm too lazy to crack my head up thinking about what is suitable for him. So every year he decides what he wants and we go find it together. And I leave it to him to decide what he wants to give me. There was a year when he gave me an Armani Exchange jacket and I got him a Mitsubishi Ralliart jacket. Ehehe what that makes me eh?

This year he decided that he wanted a pair of jeans. So we went to Levi's in Alamanda today. Even though my birthday is not until May, Devil has already decided that he wanted to give me a pair of jeans too. Today he insisted me trying on a few. I remember a couple of years back when I stopped buying jeans because I couldnt fit size 26 anymore. Thought of getting my body back into the old shape but hey, I have to starve myself again for that to happen. Guess my body will stay this way forever.

I should have never tried those jeans because I ended up buying one of them. I cant resist it because it looks so damn good on me! Ahahaaa... I 'think' it looks good on me, and Devil's evil voice was influencing me to buy it. Bad evil Devil! That's the end of my 200 bucks. So I got myself one of those 'Super Low Rise' jeans. I have to sit very carefully in these kind of jeans because the purpose of this particular jeans is to show other people what you may not wish them to see.

And Devil said he's going to get me another pair of Eve for my birthday. Yay!

Have you guys ever wondered why girls buy tight jeans and guys would buy those baggie one? According to Devil, girls should wear tight jeans because it accentuates their curves. And I thought, I would love to see guys' curves also. Sure you've got one right? Hahaha... I mean, just look at Ricky Martin's bottom, you sure get what I mean right? Me and my friends look at those too, aside from good looking face.. :">

Another thing that I realized was how easy for guys to shop. It took me 8 jeans later to find the one that really suited me (actually I found one earlier but the store didnt have my size). As for Devil, he just took one, tried it on, and that's it! How I wish all the clothes in this world suited me perfectly without having me trying them on. But actually, if it's not Devil who is too fussy on how I supposed to look like, I would have taken the first jeans that I tried on.

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Devil promised me a trip to Langkawi if I can work on my not so perfect tummy. Mr Devil, my tummy is not bulging ok? You cant see it if you walk beside me. You know my tummy have that extra fat because I told you so. Please la dont be so fussy. Anyway, where can you find average girl in Malaysia that have a perfect tummy? My sisters who are much slimmer than me also got that extra fat okay? But I'm gonna take the challenge bebeh! Start saving your money now because I'm gonna ask for the best! Okie dokie?

Tra La La La La....... I'm So Happy!!!!

Dear Miss Attention Seeker,

I never believe that you should play the dirty politics if you want to get noticed and go up. I have always believed that you should perform well and you should at least made your boss know that you do your job.

Well, today I can finally prove that it is indeed true!

I feel pity for those who didnt get it, but you should have not said that you gave everything and get nothing in return. You may think that you work your ass off but maybe those people who made the decision were thinking otherwise. You may think that you were so busy and do not have enough time to complete your work and the fact that you stay back everyday. Other people might see you differently. Perhaps you chat too much?

Am I too harsh here? Well it's the truth. Dont go blame other people when you are the one making yourselves to be perceived the way you think people is perceiving you now. Truthfully, I have never perceived you that way! Why do you go blaming other people when you dont get what you want?

Another thing that I noticed today is that, you cant gloat with the rest of the office when you achieve something in your career. These people are too competitive to be happy for you. I guess I'm not a competitive type, since I wouldnt mind if I'm not getting anything if the other person is getting it.

Well, at least I didnt say nobody in this office appreciated me when you think you were promoted the other day!

Well there are other things the boss said that I havent told you! You would have screamed in jealousy if I told you that!

I did not ask for much. Just please, be happy for me!

Nobody Ever Pick Up The Phone Anymore???

I've been calling for 2-3 times now!

Pick up the phone!!!!

But I'm a Risk Taker

I'm excited. But too much in such a short time made me feel uncomfortable.

I wanted to do something about it. But just when I about to take that small step, the anticipation is not there anymore.

And I've just realized, that new things aren't always the thing that suit us the most. Old and worned out shoes sometimes are better than a new one. Living in a hectic city where I can get anything I want sometimes makes me realize that I miss the comfort of my small grandparents house.

I can see that people value things more when they are about to lose them, or when other people shows that they can appreciate them.

And I realized that I dont have the guts to spread my wings and break away. I'm just too afraid to take the risk!

Heh.

On a lighter note, I can feel that someone is having a good time right now, thinking about someone else other than the person that he is supposed to think about. Maybe it has to do with a party, and involved some dancing, perhaps like those in Hindustan movies? Have fun while it lasts! It's not easy to make people from different race to fall fo you, especially those yang cun2. Taaa...

Slow Down My Beating Heart...

Wanna know what my secret ambition was? Well not really a secret laa.. Some people actually knew about this.

I wanted to be Janet Jackson's backup dancer. Dont know how it actually started, but I used to dance anywhere I could, but someplace where people cannot see me. I used to dance in my room, but later I figured that my bedroom was too small for me to hop here and there. So whenever my mom was not at home, I'll be turning the radio volume as loud as not to annoy our neighbours and turned our living room as a dance hall.

But my obsession has to be stopped when I joined Seri Puteri, and I was far too shy when I was in Form 1 that I did not join the dance group for our orientation concert. I was acting for the concert. I can act as well.. ahaha.. but that's another story.

Later when I was in Form 3, I joined my house cheerleaders team. I no longer care about people looking differently at me jumping and shouting at the top of my lung with other cheerleaders. After all, I was a senior (senior la drpd F1 and F2 girls). Why should I care about what the juniors will say? And also, there are no guys around, so why care?

At the end of my Form 4 year, my school organized an aerobic dance competition between the houses. Well since nobody wanted to choreograph the steps, I volunteered and we took the second place. Yes people, I choreographed all the steps, from warming up to cooling down. Later that year they wanted to choose 2 people from each houses to be in the exercise committee, where every morning during the assembly these people in the committee will guide the rest of the school doing the exercise. So my house mates wanted to use my steps for that. But I was not chosen to be in the committee, since the seniors that were choosing the committee members hated me. Yes I was involved in a fight between my batch and the gedik batch (one year older than us) and they chose people who they think are nice but talk bad about them behind their back. You know those types who likes to kiss people's ass! Well I dont really care though, but what got to me the most was that they were using my steps (and my song too!) for the first few exercise they conducted for the school. Evil, evil girls!

You can read more about this gedik batch on my fellow schoolmate's blog, the one on Gabriella Sabatini. Devil, I'm sure you can guess who the girl is, and definitely you know who her brother is, ahahaa. Shahril, I'm sure you also can guess who these two are, since they both were from MMU. I also have a few experience with Miss Gabriella Sabatini and her brother, but perhaps in another entry? Exclusively for them?

Back to my original story. When I was in Form 5, there were no Form 4 juniors who are brave enough to lead the cheerleaders team in our house. And there were nobody to choreograph the steps for the competition. So even though I was going to sit for SPM that year, I was forced to choreograph the steps once again. Those girls who stole my steps can only follow what other people has created, with no guts and brain to step up and contribute something to the house. Reason given was: "I have SPM this year. I have to concentrate on my study".

And when we were in Form 5, we had to take one of the newcomers to the school (Form 1 juniors) to be our adik angkat. Stupid aint it, but it was a school rule.

So my adik angkat's parents was actually watching me on school sport's day when I ran into the field and start jumping and shouting like I was a small child. I was red in the face when later they came to see me, for I did not expect her parents to be there. That was one of the many shameful things that I did that I'll remember for the rest of my life. You know how Malay culture is. Anak dara should be very feminine and lemah lembut, bersopan santun. Bukan melompat tengah padang macam tuttt.

Later when I finished school, and started studying in PPP, I was very lucky to get to know friends that have the same interest with me. Most of the weekends when we didnt go out, we turned our apartment living room into a dance club.

Now I dont dance much anymore. Only when I'm really excited about something. Wonder why only recently I can move to the beat again, and I wonder what happen to the fun me these few years back.

But Janet, I'll be there girl! Just wait for me! LOL....

I Still Keep Robbie Picture in My Wallet

Roberto Baggio, Robbie Williams, young mel Gibson, and now Keanu Reeves. You know how sometimes girls can be crazy about some actors and cant stop talking or thinking about them. I have long stopped this activity of drooling over someone but now it's back. I am CRAZY for Keanu Reeves. I watched Constantine yesterday and all those feelings that I get when I saw Baggio running on the field, or Robbie Williams smiling at the camera, came back. I thought I'm old and sensible enough not to be crazy like some teenage girls, but hey, I cant stop what I'm feeling here. What makes it worse was that I watched the movie with Devil and there are no girls around for me to share my enthusiasm.

I guess what makes me go crazy is because Constantine wasn't a typical nice hero. He was a good guy with bad attitude. You know how girls attracted to bad naughty boys. Well at least I am. I think his co-star, Rachel Weisz was attracted to him too. How can someone resist someone that good looking and sexy? Just looking at him standing close to Weisz and talking in whisper to her... Aaahh.. I'm getting 'cair' already.

Gotta go find a copy of Constantine dvd. I hope there are many censored parts that I havent watched in cinema. Perhaps those that have Keanu in it? LOL...

Blur Baby

Signs that I have been working too much:

1. This morning, I put on my cloth before I put on 'the undergarment'.
2. I forgot to put on toner on my face. I only realized when I have already put on the moisturizer.
3. When I arrived at the office, I tried to scan my id on the button at the ground floor elevator. But I realized what I was about to do the moment my id reached the button and I recovered quickyly by pressing the 'up' button. I was not sure if anyone saw me but I hope there weren't any. In the elevator I was memorizing what I will do next, that is, scan my id and press the pin no, in case I forget.

I have been training 4 new people that just joined our team and that's the reason why I haven't updated this blog for so long. I have been working for 4 days only now, but I am tired like I've been working for one whole week. Maybe because answering stupid questions and repeating the same thing over and over again makes me so damn tired. I dont know how my stupid manager recruits new people, but one of the new people here does not know what ping is, and I was having a headache explaining to her all the simple stuff.

I have just moved to the back row, and behind me are all the 'important' management people in our team. Well some are important laa... but some are.. you know.. more talk than doing any real work. So I'm having difficulty in doing any of these 'unrelated to work' stuff. Although all of the back row people do chat, I dont want to blog so much, since my manager has asked for my blog address from one of my colleague. He actually saw me blogging the other day. Sorry la boss, go away, dont even try to pry into my private life ok?

Some of my colleague here starts to call me 'Cikgu', because I've been teaching 4 people at the same time. And when I said I dont like it, they will call me Professor. So I ignored them. I think they will become more agitated if I play along with them.

I went back to Terengganu the other day. My sister just gave birth to a baby girl. My first niece! My first impression when I see her was "Hodohnya...". Well people say ugly babies will turn into a swan when they grow up. But what struck me most is that how you can love someone you've just met so deeply. I was not very fond to babies actually. I used to wonder how will I handle my children if I ever have my own. But lately since my friend Shariza gave birth to an adorable Faeq, I have actually started to like babies. Maybe it's time for me to get married? Hahaha...