Comfortable vs. Appropriate

Kenduri was a success. Beside unwelcomed fusses from a few 'kepoh' makciks, everything was going as planned. I always like kenduri in kampung. The feeling it always give me whenever I see all my relatives working together, where everything was done by 'gotong-royong', something that you can rarely see in KL. This time we were making nasi minyak. My mother's youngest brother, Pok Usop was the one who did all the cooking, with the help of his wife, Su. I was helping in the kitchen, doing all those simple tasks, like cutting pineapples, cucumber and sengkuang for acar, blend all the onions(aaahhh... I hate this task... make my eyes watery and nose goes all runny).. My other sisters were cleaning the house while some of my cousins were babysitting Pok Usop's youngest 3 month's son, Atiq.

Atiq was so good that actually we can just leave him there all by himself. He doesnt cry unnecessarily (believe me or not... he only cries when he is sick and hungry). He doesnt cry when he is wet, nor when he is sleepy... such a good boy he is. However since he is SOOOOOoooooo adorable, comel-lote gitu ehehe... everybody wants a piece of him... including me ahahah.... but I only go to him when I dont have anything to do laa...

I never really liked babies. But since my friend Shariza give birth to his son a few weeks ago, I have been converted into babies lover. I want to have my own... ahahhaa dream on laaa...

Back to kenduri... everybody started to come for solat hajat around 8.30 pm. Since I was so busy, I have no time to change and was just wearing t-shirt and track bottom when some of the guests start to come in. One of the makcik kepoh actually ask me why I havent changed into baju kurung or something decent. For the love of God, I have no time to do that, and furthermore I will only be at the kitchen (everybody in the kitchen were not wearing decent formal clothes)... so why go into the hassle of changing into the uncomfortable baju kurung? Even my sister was only wearing t-shirt and kain batik (but she stayed in the kitchen only, the makcik kepoh spotted me at the front door when I was taking out glasses at that time.. ehehe). I'm sure someone does not agree with me on this, but when did that someone has ever agreed with me on anything?

Aaahhh... all the craps that you have to take when you are 'anak-dara' and unmarried. No makcik kepoh would want to chase after me if I have already been married... just look at my sister... always doing something inappropriate but no one wants to tegur her because she is already married. Not free laa like this...!!!

Since my parents are leaving tomorrow, we are having a lot of guests since this evening right until just now. I was making drink non-stop and every now and then, I have to pop-out to salam-salam with all the makciks who came. One of my aunty was making fuss on how I should dress today. She said I should make myself as decent as possible, to impress any potential mother-in-law... ahahaha kelakar tul... I was again just wearing my official outfit at home, t-shirt and track bottom, but I changed into baju kurung just to stop my aunty from continously nagging at me.

Hmm... was thinking about him... called him... but...

I'm having cramps on the left side of my stomach. Gotta go...

May You Rest In Peace

Che' Tam was missing. My sister said that she could be dead. But we couldnt find her body anywhere. Poor little thing. For some people, this could be a small childish matter, but for me, it is a huge deal. I've loved and taken care of her for as long as I can remember. Other people wont understand what others are going through unless they've been there themselves, will they?

I keep hoping that she would turned up, but of course she doesnt. Anyway have a wonderful new year everyone. Hope year 2005 will bring all the joy and luck you've been seeking for.

Well I was supposed to go watch fireworks on New Year but... hmm... For heaven's sake WHO CARES??? hmm.. :(( ... I DO!!!!

Out Of Love

After years being in a relationship, you realized that nothing is the same anymore. You treat the other differently. You wont forgive and forget the way you used to do it. You remember. You always remember, and you constantly brought it up. You were not as gentle. You were not as patience. You were not as before. You have become a different person.

Does love fades? Or are we just being infatuated before, and not in love as we assumed we were? Or have we become a different person, where anger and dissatisfaction have turned us into a bitter human being; Or are we showing our true colours now, and fake ourselves before, just to lure and captivate the other into falling into our trap? Or have we given up trying, and just going where the flow will take us?

How do we tell that we are really in love?
And not just all of that?

I guess I'll never know.
I guess I'll never taste the sweetness of everlasting love.

H.U.A.R.G.H

My last working day for this week...and now i dont have anything to do... everybody else is busy sleeping.. or shopping.. or jalan2... or... and i'm stucked here doing nothing .. except staring at this stupid box... I'm bored and i'm sleepy... i'm bored with yahoo games...can you imagine...me getting bored with yahoo games?? ehehehe... believe me... i've tried every single games that yahoo has...

I'll be taking 6 days off next week... yayy... going back to my hometown in Terengganu... My parents are going to Mecca next week... to perform hajj... We are going to have kenduri on the 28th..

Hmm... I'm lost for words... dont have anything on my mind... Yawnnnn.... I want my nice warm bed, my soft pillow... i want to sleep... yawnnn... i'm off to dreamland folks..

Tangle Up In Me Baby

Just got back from lunch with Jaffri, Sugu and Giri. What to do.. i'm the only girl here... i have to make myself eat with these guys... ehehe... no laa... i enjoy your company guys... well since all the stalls in our building are closed.. we have to go to Pusat Bandar Damansara to fill up our empty rambling tanks... yes i work on christmas... and i work on weekends too... laugh all you want... at least i only work 3/4 days per week... and i can go back on time... unlike some executives who work 9-5 and have to stay back doing unpaid overtime just to impress your boss :P...

We went to KFC Pusat Bandar. Yum yum ...i havent eaten kfc chicken in a while... do you guys know that none of the food stalls in KLCC food court have got the HALAL certification from JAKIM? So does the bakery Bread Talks & Bread Story. This bakery does actually sell ham based product. For more info go visit JAKIM website...

I've been listening to Skye Sweetnam lately... I realized that I'm more drawned to this kind of songs... the rebellious type of songs... the kind that have 'i-hate-guys' message in it ... why aa? Maybe because I'm from all girls school before.. I remember i used to have this macam-bagus-who-need-guys-or-bf attitude... ahahha... to think back of all those foolish times... Anyway the song below is for all those guys who tried so damn hard to understand girls in their lives... try harder buddy... because you can never figure her out completely... even to the girl that you marry..

Skye Sweetnam
Tangled Up In Me

You wanna know more, more, more about me
I'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine
I'm the one that's honking at you cuz I left late again

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me

You wanna know more, more, more about me
Gotta know reverse phsychology
I'm the reason why you can't get to sleep
I'm the girl you never get just quite what you see

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me

You think that you know me
You think that I'm only
When everything I do is only to get tangled up in you
You wanna know more, more, more about me
I'm the girl that's sweeping you off your feet

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Could you see I want you by the way I push you away Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction, Ya!

Hey! Hey!

Get tangled up in me

The Beautiful And The Fool

While i was getting ready for work this morning, Epol, my housemate's 3 months old kitten came into my room and starts to run around the room. He sat near the table fan, trying to reach for the moving blade (stupid cat... is he trying to cut his own fingers??) then he went under the bed, and came out with dust sticked on his whiskers (fyi i do sweep under my bed from time to time :P) .. then ran around again, jumping from one pillow to another... chased his own tail ( cat can be so stupid sometimes... ehehe).. and it got me thinking... I wouldn't let him play around my room if he came in last week...well i wouldnt even let him into the room.... why you might wonder....

i have just noticed a few days before that he is cuter and and cleaner than before... before this i wouldnt even let he came near me... well his mom aka my housemate didnt care for him like a real mother should be ( i called her his mom because whenever she talks to that poor fella, she refers herself as his mother... yes.. she talks to cat... treat Epol like her own baby boy). she only cleaned/washed him and his cage whenever she feel like it... so most of the time poor Epol sleeps in his own shit... sometimes me and my sister would bathe him when she is not around... just to keep him out of his cage... but i still wont allow him to get near me...

Recently Epol's mom has been feeding him with cat's food that she bought from one of the pet's store in SS2. The food really works miracle on Epol. He has this problem with his digestive system before, poor Epol cant poop properly. But now not only can he poop with ease, he also has long bushy fur and has a nice distinctive mark on his tail that was not there before, or the mark was there but i dont care to look at it, ehehhe...

Epol's most favourite toy is human hands/feets. so whenever he saw a moving hand/toe, he would sneak up and bite our finger/hand/toe... whichever part that he can catch with his small mouth. So even if you're trying to get him as far as possible from you... he will always come back when you're trying to flex your muscle. It's an impossible attempt to try to push him away from you..unless you've got some other moving object to distract him.

I do pity him... whenever he is dirty and his mom is lazy for the day... he will be playing with his own tail in the cage or sitting there quietly with his big shining eyes looking at us sadly. I always let him play outside his cage when his mom is not around but i still dont like him to get near me... until recently...

unlike before, now i even let him play in my room...

Hmmm.... do i only like things that are beautiful? or clean? why do i only like him when he is healthy, clean and has bushy fur?? i am a sympathetic person... i can cry just by watching old beggar on the street... or orphan children in orphanage home during Hari Raya (or am i too emotional??)

if you want to say that i dont like cat... i am a cat lover... i even have a cat back at home... we called her Che' Tam, for her black fur... actually she's my neighbour's cat... but since she came at our house and eat/sleep there... my neighbour called me her tuan... ehehhee... but there's another neighbour's cat, Che' Tam's son, Che' Teh (for her white fur) that i dont like so much... well.... she's not as beautiful as Che' Tam... and hasnt got bushy fur like her mother. .... errrr....

Hmm.... sahla i only like beautiful things... but I am not mean to ugly cats... this peculiar behaviour of mine is acceptable kan?? What say you Kay??

speaking of strange behaviour ni kan... I have a friend who admits to me that when she have children on her own... and if her children is not pretty enough for her standard.. she wont try to love them... only the beautiful ones are worth her attention/love. scary isnt it? well... now she has already been married... but luckily she hasnt got any children yet... im praying for her children-to-be... especially to the ones that are not pretty enough...

and please god... dont let me be like her...

Pink Meat

I'm back from lunch. Handover to Swiss team just now, so that means less work for me now.. ehehehe... Strange strange thing just occured... when i was trying to call Geneva for the handover... the call didnt actually reach the intended destination, instead it was routed to Korea Telecomm. Weird isnt it? And when another colleague, Halim tried to call, he got Zurich Continental Hotel and after that, Japan. Something wrong with our telephone system or HP Swiss/ Suisse (local spelling).

Just now i went to chinese food stall in Wisma UOA with Giri, Janani, Sugu and two guys from Agilent team. Halfway through my meal, i have come to realize that i didnt recognize the taste of the meat that i was eating... The meat was sliced into thin pieces (just like salami/pepperoni) and was cooked with cauliflower, mushroom etc. i stop eating to gaze into my plate... looking for the sign of the triangle mark.. you know what that for... and i dont know how it was supposed to look like!! yes i thought i saw those triangle mark... and yes i think the meat is pink in colour...but i wasnt sure. Giri told me that the stall serves halal food...and a lot of Muslims went to eat there... but by that time I have already lost all of my appetite...

One of my new resolution for the coming new year (cheewahh...) is to know how pork/ham/bacon look like. Well how are you going to avoid eating them if you dont know how they look like? Perhaps i can ask one of my chinese colleagues here to show me...

My First Entry Lorrrr

Due to constant demand and incessant nagging by you Kay, so here goes my own blog. Been reading others blogs these few days and surprisingly i've been sucked into this madness. The time that I usually spend for 'work' or by the exact definition constant stare at the monitor, reading emails and playing yahoo games now have been replaced by blurring my eyes with Shariza's much too purple blog that can cause serious damage to eyes in the long term, or rocking my head back and forth in silent giggles to S.Vellu and the gang in Bangsar Baru's hilarious comments. And making people's head turned into my way is not something that i'd love to do... you know about me hating unnecessary attention from wanted/unwanted people.... and yesterday my colleague Giri has already noticed me giggling like a mad person... Another piece of evidence that i'm doing something else during working time... anyway... who doesnt??

i dont mean to sound like my job is nothing... like i dont have anything important to do... the fact is my work is quite important... it's just that there are times when i dont have anything to do... okla continue later... im going to lunch with Giri...