That Was Yesterday...

A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separated
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love

I was humming along quietly to this song in my office just now when all of a sudden, tears strolled down my cheek. Banyak plak tu. What's wrong with me? Why did I get so emotional? I have never cried in office. But lucky no one saw me crying. Was that a cry? It was an unintentional cry, a very short one, but with a reason that I kept thinking for a long time now.

I used to believe in love. I used to believe that love can make people be a good person, that love makes you want to become a better person. I used to believe that love makes you become unselfish, that whatever you do, you think about the other person. I used to believe that love can soften your heart, that when your other half makes mistake, you can just forgive and not sulking all day long just to show that you are mad. I know to forget is something else, but I used to believe that love can make you forgive easily. And I really used to believe that revenge doesnt exist in love! Boy, was I wrong. And the other half? Are you sure you want to call that person as your other half? Or soulmate?

I'm sure I may come across as Miss Skeptismo but I believe that two people must work REALLY hard to keep a relationship goes a long way. I have 7 years experience ok? I think I'm entitled to talk about this.

I believe that people wont change their habit just because they fall in love with you. They can be a different person for a year, then they will go back to their usual self after that. I believe that in love, you have to accept everything about that person, and not trying to change them into someone else, that including accepting their bad annoying habit. I believe that the thing that we called love is just an infatuation at first, and having each other around is so comfortable that we are afraid to let it go, to move out of that comfort zone. So you stayed on until you grow old, have a few kids, and then only you realized that you dont need that other person in your life, and decided to move on without him/her. That's why so many people get divorced nowadays. They confused infatuation with something else called love. I wonder if it ever existed. I dont question about love between parents and their children, I know that kind of love can be felt anywhere. This is about love between a man and a woman, lovers.

Sometimes I'd get really emotional when I hear love songs on the air. Phrases like 'I'd die for you', 'I'd do anything for you', and such really turned me off. Hey who would want to die for you? Who would do anything for you? No one would! Maybe there are, in fantasy land!

This entry is not because today is Valentine's Day. It's not because I was frustrated for not celebrating Valentine, in fact I never celebrated it. It was something I have felt for too long now, and never having a chance to let it out. I am writing this now because finally I can put this into some fathomable words.

And the cry was because I was crushed for being lied to about love. And because I long to feel how is it to be in love once again.

P/S: I'm thinking clearly and I'm not having a fight with Devil. Me and Devil have come to a conclusion that we must work very hard to keep our strong relationship from being struck by any evil force or natural disasters.