I'm dull. All my entries are craps. Please do not proceed to read if you are distressed.

I kept thinking about my only niece back at home. How can I miss someone I barely know that much? Have I changed? I used to hate kids. Maybe it's the bond. After all, she is my niece. I noticed that I'm fond to other kids as well, like my friends' lil boy. Ah well.. My journey has not come to that part yet.. so why bother much, eh?

The other day, I was asked whether I am ready to be married. How do you know that for sure? And do we have to stop having fun to signify that we are ready to get seriously involved, till death do us part? The truth is, I'm not a fun person. I want to be fun, but I just dont mix with the right crowd. So, is it wrong if I have the intention to have fun, although I still havent done it? Salah ek? And why cant married couple go out and have fun? You can do it together, you can watch each other out. Does being married means the wife have to stay at home and wait for the husband to come back, do most of the house chores and etc? I'm bothered, but mind you, I'm also obedient.

If you dont want people to pity you, why do you give them a reason to be? Like if you dont want people to pity you when you got a cut in your leg, why do you go and tell them that you have a cut in the first place? Whether we realized it or not, sometimes we want to be pitied, we want to convince other people and ourself that whatever it is that happen is not due to our fault. However perfect we think we are, we are just a normal human being who cant run away from making mistakes, so please stop blaming other people for the wrong things that is/was in our life. Take some responsibility. There are things worth to be remembered, and not to be there in our present life. Make the sweet memories as something to be smiled at as we grow older, and take the bad ones as a lesson for us to improve ourselves. I know it's easier to be said than done, but what's the point of mulling over something that is over?

I guess, what I wanna say is, we shape our own life, our own future. Whatever it is that we have and we dont have in our life, it's all because we make it that way, and because He wanted it to be that way.